Confession Time!
I’ve got a hangover! 😫
If you read my last blog, you will know that I don’t do New Year’s Resolutions, basically because I find January pretty tough - a big anticlimax after Christmas and New Year, dark mornings and short days, and temptation still in the cupboards.
Well, one of the ways I get to the end of January, when the days start to appreciably lengthen, is to spend time with good friends who bring positive energy, lift me up and help me to look on the bright side of life, and last night was spent with my closest friends who did just that! It involved haggis, Caorunn gin and cranachan as we celebrated Burn’s Night, because we could! (Yes, a bit early - 10 days in fact - but impromptu gatherings are often the best, and what’s a few days between friends?)
The plan was that I would wear my Shaw tartan kilt, but those of you who are single will know that sometimes you run out of time to get changed in order to make sure the food etc is ready when your guests arrive! It has taken me a lot of years to accept that 80% is good enough, and a great time was had by all, even though I sported my jeans and a t-shirt, and I haven’t laughed so much in ages!
This morning, however, I woke feeling pretty rough! And if you follow me on social media, you will know that I had a target of 22 miles to run by the end of Sunday in my charity running challenge, in order to reduce my weekly goal to under 20 miles a week till my birthday in March. Today I needed to run 6 miles, tomorrow another 5 to reach this target. Well, that went out the window didn’t it!!
Not long ago, I would have punished myself, told myself how rubbish I was, ruined the day be berating myself constantly and probably have felt even more unwell as a result. Negative Blinkin’ Nancy!! But this morning, I messaged my running buddy, who was also here last night, inferring that I felt rubbish and probably wasn’t going to make the run, with no guilt, and no negative feelings, just ‘Hey, I have the headache from hell. Going to take some paracetamol and see how I feel’. This is a big win for me! And guess what? The reply came: ‘ I seriously can’t run!!’. Music to my ears! And not a guilty feeling in sight!
Acceptance and being kind to myself used to be impossible for me and perfectionism didn’t help. But a lot of therapy, using a gratitude journal, lovely family and friends, breathing and mindfulness have all contributed to me now being able to change a plan, be happy with 80% and accept that sometimes things don’t work out how you wanted them to, but that’s OK. Don’t get me wrong, I can still struggle with it, but I’m way better than before, and hey, 80% is good enough!!
So today we walked instead of running. I’ve drunk coffee and eaten Heinz tomato soup and bread for lunch (admittedly sourdough from Allison at Poolbrook Cafe, not crappy bread in a bag from the supermarket!). I’ve been eating mini eggs - who doesn’t love mini eggs!! - while writing this, but I’m not putting myself down or telling myself how rubbish I am. I’ve enjoyed every single minute, and if I don’t get to my target of 22 miles this week, well I’ll just make it up next week or the week after.
The brain is an amazing thing, but it can make or break you. Don’t let your mind tell you you are rubbish. Don’t let negativity take over. Get yourself a gratitude journal; surround yourself with positive friends who boost your energy rather than draining it; when the anxiety or negative thoughts come, stop and breathe; focus on the positive - there always is one! Neuroplasticity - “the ability of neural networks in the brain to change through growth and reorganization” - is a thing! You can change your thoughts, you can change your reaction to things, you are in control!
Be kind to yourself, look after yourself and above all, enjoy yourself! Life is too short to strive for perfection and punish yourself when you don’t achieve it.